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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"get your fuckin shit together.. ism"

There is very little I love more in this life then a perfectly pressured and perfectly hot 30min shower which, believe me, is harder to come by in this country then you would think.

I get to be naked, warm, wet, completely absolved of all outside criticism and judgment (unless i suppose someone happens to be joining me in the shower, but that's an entirely different story) and more than anything, I get to feel... clean.

Not just physically, with the coconut shampoo and dove soap (damn how I LOVE dove soap) but I also have this tendency to make every shower into a cleansing religious experience.

I say religious because I want to place very little importance in what I believe could be considered an experience of faith. At least it makes more sense to me then sitting in a special room called a "church" for two boring hours listening to a special man called a "priest" interpret a special book called the "bible" in his own special way and dictate to the the special sheeple what, how, when, why, where and who they should believe in.

No no, church is not for me. I pray in the shower... to the god of... well... to my own god (he's all mine and im not sharing) and no, I'm not going to elaborate on this now because I'm supposed to be talking about showers, about ritual cleansing and absolution, about forgiving yourself, and starting over... so I can lead into what I really wanted to talk about in the first place, which is...GUILT.

From day one we are taught that it's GOOD to feel BAD about ourselves. this idea of sin and penance and seeking forgiveness from the church, your peers or your parents... is actually what I believe cripples society.

The bottom line is, unless you're a serious psychopath, every grown human KNOWS when they are doing something right or when they are doing something wrong.. BEFORE they do it. So guilt is not a reminder of wrong action, it's a cop-out. It's like saying, okay.. I fucked up.. but gee I feel bad... so now because of that guillt, I deserve to be forgiven right? I deserve to feel good about feeling bad.

No. Fuck no. That's not how life works, but sadly, is the reality of this very morally backwards world we live in today.

So my showers everyday are a way of letting me forgive myself and not seeking it from anyone else. One of the greatest life lessons I've learned so far, is that if you can forgive yourself for all the stupid things you've done in your life (and lets face it, there's probably a fuck-load) you can forgive others without trying to make them feel guilty first.

When push comes to shove (hot damn I'm just full of cliche's today) I've learned the most from the experiences where I didn't exactly do the "right" thing.

There are no mistakes in life because we all live only in this moment, in the NOW, and as soon as you begin to think "it should have been different" you're questioning the ways of the universe when you have no right to. It was here way before you existed, and will be here long after you're gone. The universe owes you nothing, so accept the so called "failures" as.. negative experiences. learn, grow, change adapt and move the fuck on.

Ya. I could be a preacher of my own new religion. I call it...

"get your fuckin shit together.. ism"

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