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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Self Cock Worship

While doing a bit of..."research" for my ladies night script. I came across a cry for help posted in the Human Sexuality forum with the topic HOW TO MAKE OUR SEX LIFE MORE INTERESTING. After being prompted to affirm that I am over 18, I scroll down a bit to read some of the answers.

A man from Toledo Ohio, who lists: God and his wife Jovil under his "I belong to:" category writes this:

"Hetero females can't be rammed violently and stroked sensitively for a long session like that without losing their minds with pleasure unless they hate you or they aren't interested in you and what you're doing."

Preceded by a list of common positions and the instructions to "ram her at various speeds, depths, and angles."

Holy shit. I don't even know where to begin. I feel a strange pity for Jovil and what must be an orgasm-free marriage. She's probably cheating on him.

Not only does this man's level of certainty and unwavering belief in what he's talking about make me laugh, it also frightens me. Is this seriously how the typical male mind works?

If you have a penis and were nodding vehemently in agreement with the religious man from Ohio, then please, for the sake of women everywhere, read the following.. and pay VERY close attention.

The positions, speed and angles play a minuscule role. For me... and I think for most women... it's about loss of inhibition. The ability to be free and confident. To embrace the moment, take a risk. Sex scares the shit out of me - but its the ability to overcome that fear and literally "open" up to someone that creates the excitement. Anticipation is more important then foreplay - although come on boys - don't rush it. (My personal rule - anything under 20mins... and you better believe I'm waking you up in an hour to start again). It's really all about comfort. Even a one night stands need a certain level of ease or believe me, the girl's not going to be willing to get naked and penetrated by someone she feels awkward about. Unless she's supremely wasted. Then its desperate, sloppy, messy half-assed sex that isn't worth it. Plus she'll hate you after and tell all her gossipy friends that you "took advantage". Not a good idea.

Now I'm rambling. But seriously guys - comfort. Comfort and anticipation. You can ram her all you want later, the hard part is getting there.

As for Toledo Christian man with no idea how to treat a woman. Another comment left on that forum says it best.

"Come now. While you obviously worship your own cock, it's vain to expect every "hetero" woman you're with to worship it as well."

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