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Monday, June 15, 2009

every morning

It’s hard to be happy. Or maybe it’s easy for some people, but for me it’s hard. Especially when people I care about are hurting. It’s easy to smile and laugh and have a good time. It’s easy to be strong when someone needs me… at least for that one moment…but it’s hard to be happy. Before this starts sounding too much like I’m about to attack the ice cream and cry in my bubble bath, I don’t mean to imply that I’m miserable or even sad. Every morning I wake up and stay in bed for a few minutes, even if I’m late already. I look around, stretch my arms, crack my toes, glance at my dream journal, and take a few seconds to stop all internal dialogue. Like pushing the mute button on my inner self. I take those moments and let myself feel unbelievably happy… just for being alive. Just for being here one more day. Just for existing. So no, it’s not easy to be happy, but that just means we have to try a little harder.

3 comments:

luis said...

Agreed trying harder to achieve happiness is all we can do

well said Heather

LLP said...

I think I know what you're talking about. You're feeling sorry but aren't sad exactly. It's hard for everyone when the people they care for are suffering. It's out of your control yet has complete control of your emotions. One can only take things a step at a time and sacrifice as much as the relationship warrants to make things better.

I hope both of you find the respective lights you so need and desire. It comes in phases, so one should just be patient. One should also bear in mind that just as all good things come to an end, so do all bad things.

Michael said...

My inner self doesn't have a mute button. I can't ever shut it up.

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