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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

half-nut the scrapper

My cat is the human equivalent of a UFC fighter. He crawls home every few days beat to shit and curls up on the washing machine with a few meows that I’m almost positive mean “you should see the other guy.” His real name is Ming but the maids attempted an at-home neutering one fateful evening and it didn’t turn out quite as planned. He’s since been to the vet and had the remaining shreds of manhood removed but it was too great of a nickname to withdraw. So Half-Nut it is. Even with no balls he still ventures out to create havoc every few days. Sometimes we catch him running from some big motherfucker into the dog’s pen, where no other cat is ever welcome. He sits right at the foot of Duke (the biggest dog) and smiles out to his opponent, unbelievably proud of his protection technique. Later we can be sure to catch him tossing scraps from plates up on the counter down to the dogs. Not to say his safe haven comes easy. He puts up with ridiculous abuse from all three canines, sitting still whenever they come to snap at him or toss him around a bit. It’s harmless play but the look on his face is priceless and if a cat could roll his eyes, I’m sure he would have. My Dad loves him because he eats cockroaches and can even catch birds right out of the air. He climbs up to my balcony to say hi once in a while when I’m out for a smoke. We’re good buddies and I have a deep respect for any creature that has lived through the extensive injuries he’s received over the years. Sometimes I imagine him outside the walls of our yard as some sort of anarchist. Provoking all the other cats to see who’s king. Of course in my imagination, he always wins. He may have no balls and we might call him Half-Nut but he’s one badass feline anyways.

3 comments:

LupineLooPine said...

You need to make a video with your cat getting tossed around with that look on his face. Half-nut may not have balls, but he does have brains, and that matters quite a lot in his world.

Speaking of neutering, I don't know what has happened to make me comment so.. normally. The urge has gone for the moment.. mental neutering of some sort. Oh well, I'm sure there's a reason and/or this is just a phase. I *think* I know the reason too smarty pants. Don't always need Freud to figure out things of the mind.

Anonymous said...

I love tough-guy kitties.

Niklas said...

Thats a cool cat!

if you happen to be a billionaire...