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Saturday, July 4, 2009

being STONED

I like being stoned. I really like being stoned.

I like the act of smoking weed.
The way the white-corded clouds dance along the waves in the air, rising up or swirling around, or thrust forward. I like when they linger for a moment. One of those blink and you miss it moments when the smoke is completely still. Paralyzed for a millisecond before disappearing forever. Where does the smoke go? Was it really ever there to begin with?

I like the smell. It makes me imagine I’m living about 4000 years ago in China and have just discovered a “medicine” and smoked it for the very first time. I wonder what the very first stoners thoughts would be. No one would know you were high. No one would know what high was. Perhaps they would think you were a bit drunk. Was alcohol made before weed was smoked?

I like rolling joints. Backwards the way my sister taught me. The way my mom taught her. I go for speed over perfection. Practicality over aesthetics. Habit over innovation. Memory over sight. I could roll a nice joint blindfolded. This is something that makes me proud.

I like bongs. Not as much as I used to. But I like bongs because they bring me back to my insanely excessive days. I remember Duchess, the first bong I ever owned. I remember the one I cleverly named My Boyfriend. My boyfriend was huge and went with me everywhere. My boyfriend made me happy. Best boyfriend I ever had. I remember Mike 42 and The Lizard and The Magic School Bus and Vanilla Ice and The Nemesis and Yoda.

I like smoking weed alone. Watching movies and dissecting every bit of dialogue and character flaw and scene motivation and plotline and symbolism. I talk out loud to myself. This is something I can only do alone.

I like the art of passing a roach without burning your fingers. Devising some new fantastic grip with a clever flick of the wrist and outward motion placed gently in the groove of the receivers fingers. Then he or she takes a toke and burns their fingers anyways. Not everyone has mastered the technique just yet.

I like stoned conversations.
About things that at the time seem so appropriate and logical but I know are somehow just a little beyond rational. Somewhere in a realm of my mind that makes more sense when I’m stoned. That makes everything simple. Achievable. A realm that makes everything possible.

I like smoking weed with first-timers. I remember Jay. The Korean who barely spoke English and arrived at film school completely unaware of the people he was about to meet. We crammed 6 of us in a tiny dorm bathroom and he asked to come too. After teaching him the right way to inhale… someone turned on Avril Lavigne. Jay started dancing, grinning from ear to ear and saying softly… “I’m flying.” I like that weed can make the Koreans fly.

I like that I’m the same person stoned as I am sober.
Perhaps a few things change.… but I’m still me.

I really like being stoned. For a lot of reasons I wrote here, and even more that I didn’t.

4 comments:

PR DarkSider ;-) said...

I took a pull of weed one time in my teens. if I ever meet you I'll smoke it up

Michael said...

You are so incredibly lucky.
I got to try it a few times, many years ago, and it just felt awful. Every time. I don't know how to explain it, I can't even remember exactly how it felt, but I know it was horrible. I don't understand why. How can it be so much fun for most people, and yet be so terrible for some? And why did I have to be one of the unlucky ones? It just isn't fair.
Everything I ever hear about weed makes it sound like something I should absolutely love. I feel like I'm cursed sometimes. It's really devestating to learn that you're some sort of freak who can't even have fun like normal people.
I keep hoping that maybe I can get a chance to try it again sometime. Maybe I just had a bad strain before, or something. Or maybe it's just something I'd have to get used to. but I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again. I have no idea how people even find weed. And as far as I'm aware, I don't know anybody who does it. And I don't really have the guts to ask anyone to find out for sure.
I'm not trying to bring you down with all this. I just want you to know how extremely fortunate you are. Some of us never get to enjoy it like you do.

Keep smoking, and savour every moment.

wawacapecod said...

Heather even though I never smoked anything. I would smoke aj with you just so you could watch this first timer smoke

zompac said...

I get stoned all the time. Last summer i spent $600 on 2 ounces that lasted 8 days. That was my first year smoking weed ever so i didnt know how to control myself.

But this year, I bought from 3 different people every other day. I spent probably $800 but only bought $40s at a time and $20s. I had to bike to 2 of their houses which was some exorcise and someone delivered to me. But yea, this year was really nice, I'm stoned right now btw. Damn makes me feel like buying more now...

if you happen to be a billionaire...