choose your weapon...

Movies (4) Photos. (47) Poetry (16) Quotations. (76) Words (15) Writings. (137)

Monday, July 20, 2009

date me?

I got asked out on a date today. A perfectly nice, seemingly filthy rich man approached me at the Canadian embassy to report he was in town just for a few days on business from Singapore and was staying at the Shangri La hotel, which might just be the most expensive hotel possible in this city. He was dressed in a suit, carried a black briefcase that I'm sure was carrying some life changing documents with his name on them and shoes that probably cost more then my entire wardrobe. He looked richer then my Dad. Way richer, and younger, and very good looking. We made forced small talk as I waited for a taxi and tried over and over again to deny his proposal. Our conversation went something like this...
"Would you like to get a drink with me later"
"I don't drink."
"Well how about coffee then?"
To which I raise my eyebrows and gesture to the coffee cup in my hand.
"Dinner?"
"Sorry - I have plans tonight." (I dont)
"Tomorrow then."

And continued in this fashion for about ten minutes (where are all those damn taxis when you need them?). I could tell this particular man was not used to hearing 'no' so many times.... and truth be told, I'm not sure why I was so quick to refuse. He made me nervously bitchy... and in all my jeans and t-shirt glory I felt very out of place suddenly. I gave him my phone number before I left to tide him over and on the way home was contemplating why it seemed so damn scary to accept a date with that particular man. He obviously wasnt looking for a girlfriend since he didnt live here, wasnt looking for sex because there are a ton of clubs he could go to for that, wasn't looking to party since he persued me even after I said I didn't drink... so I'm assuming he was just lonely... and wanted to invite the random friendly lady who asked him for a light of her cigarette. I suppose I was just afraid he would take me to some fancy restaurant where snails were considered food and there were eight forks on the table. More then being indimidated though, I was very... out of practice. The last time I went on a date I did not have a good time. The time before that I went as a substitute with a friend who got stood up... and the time before that... I was 16. You could definitley say I'm not a date-me kinda girl and in fact, havent the slightest idea of proper protocol. I would end up ordering pasta or something equally messy and embaressing to eat... show up in flipflops and plaid or a bright pink tshirt that says Make Love Not War.... and whoever the unlucky sophisticated man happened to be... would be trying to hide his face the whole time and get away as fast as possible. Dating is scary. I intend to avoid it as long as possible... but I do feel bad for that man today, he's probably not feeling so great about himself right now, and I most definitley did not have to be that harsh. Maybe coffee I could handle... maybe he'll call me and be all elated that I changed my mind.

4 comments:

LupineLooPine said...

Poor dude. I wouldn't count out sex, because for him it might be some conquest thing. You never know.

And Heather, you might be surprised by what would happen if you dressed the way you wanted to. It's usually women who are more picky about how the guy looks and dresses. Most guys wouldn't give a fuck, but this guy would give more than a fuck (pun seriously intended).. you know, since he apparently is a classy dude who was interested in your mind and/or angling for a humperoni.

But yeah, if it makes sense for you to dress up however you want, dress up that way and speak your mind. I couldn't figure out logically why people should dress up with jeans and a t-shirt as opposed to the relatively more comfortable track pants and a t-shirt. So I wore track pants and t-shirts for some time a year ago out of rebellion over perceived stupidity. If anyone asked, I answered, and then they knew I was becoming a true scientist since I was once step closer to absolute insanity. I finally caved for the same reason I now subscribe... it's a social norm that isn't THAT big a deal. So I cut my hair and concealed my dick once more.

Be yourself and even dates in all their potential to annoy with their fakery can't get to you. Plus, dates are only as good as the people you go out with.

This has been yet another unnecessarily long LupineLooPine comment.
Brought to you by... Jordoms, premium Fuck you Krumbine condoms.. because when it's time for some vampire action, you need to turn your li'l Zaphod into an Explorer of the unknown. Your Krumboner will thank you for it. And for a limited time only, you'll get Stay Creative anal plugs with every ten pack purchase of Jordoms. Order NOW!

LupineLooPine said...

I've solved that silly Chinese proverb thing on your other blog and have found the flaw... the one that you claim shows that man is essentially good. So I'm pretty keen on responding to that.
But I forgot to mention that this guy is SO Terrence from Eleven Minutes. Well, he's a hybrid between that Terrence and Terrence from the Terrence and Phillip show. My point is , you should totally go out with him WHEN he calls you later, and just get spanked around his hotel room. Then in a few months you get to meet your Ralf Hart... but there's a time and a place for all interactions ye know. Now is the time for Terrence.
TERRENCE!

krumbine said...

I think the true answer to happiness is money and clearly this guy wanted to give away some of his.

I think I'm just jealous because it's easier for a hot lady to go gold digging than it is for, you know, me.

True love, however, can only be found through the internet, over long distances, where individuals are forced to engage each other intelligently and through written word and thereby truly learning who the other person is.

ben said...

Heather, i think it would surprise you that if you did go along on a date, wearing your t-shirt & jeans he wouldnt mind at all.

But what do i know. I also have been out of the dating for a long time. Even though im seperated, i find it bloody scary out there & i hate the dating prtocols.

if you happen to be a billionaire...