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Sunday, May 23, 2010

fishes.

Most of the new men I’ve encountered lately, remind me of fish-sticks. Molded into row after row of the same damn shape… mushy, pre-cooked, tasteless, and unseasoned. With standard yet questionable origins, they are manufactured to fit perfectly in that freezer friendly cardboard box. Adorned with flashy colours and arrogant one-liner catch phrases, they can be plucked from the shelf and into the cart with one or two effortless movements. Sure, there are several different types to choose from. Box A is healthier, Box B will save you money, Box C is conveniently located and Box D has that awesome cartoon ninja plastered on the front. So many viable options and alternatives to choose from! Or so you think… until they’ve made it out of the store, into the oven and onto your plate. Then it takes exactly one bite to realize that a fish-stick, no matter how appealing it may have seemed when you hand picked that particular one… is still just a fuckin’ fish-stick. No amount of tartar sauce is going to appease your now-shriveling taste buds, and somewhere around chew number five, you’re already trying to indulge an appetite that doesn’t exist anymore. Pleading for that elusive smoked salmon, or impossible lobster, but willing at this point to concede to some anchovies, or even a can of flaked tuna. Maybe what they say is true, and maybe there are a lot of fish in the sea, but too bad the majority of the world doesn’t even own a fishing pole, and instead, we simply buy the fish that have already been caught, processed and packaged for us by someone else.

6 comments:

achigurh said...

one of your best ever blogs..
throw this in a book sometime

MeX said...

How do you cope with those kinda guys that are fish-sticks and they just wouldn't let go. Keep coming back.
Cause for me it used to be easy to help my friends with guys like that. But sometimes there is a dumb mother fucker that just doesn't get it. And somehow she takes him back. (From my perspective she should get laid after she manages to break up with him so she stops thinking about assholes and finds herself a good guy - reasonably naughty but good) I guess it because she than ends up alone and leave it like that. He comes knowing her weak spots and claiming on the 'having history'. (See if it's uncool history for me it would be obvious that its not the thing to come back to but somehow it works in the twisted way. Why?)

Sorry for writing to much.

Regards,
Bart
from Poland, UK & Canada

Michael said...

What Achigurh said.

Anonymous said...

Encounter a Vegan, no mecury, but most of all no fishy smell

MrUSSinFullEffect said...

so i thought about typing... i thought about talking- to a camera- but i haven't been getting much back on that end... so i figured i would read some of your old shit... and then i found this...

re: fishes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92cepk2c0OY

MrUSSinFullEffect said...

you have burrowed into my subconscious. true story.

if you happen to be a billionaire...