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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

could it be?

A long time ago, the darkness in me defined love as an unattainable daydream of the naïve and childishly optimistic. The entire world was certainly just a vague mirage of lonely half-people, masquerading as clowns with fake smiles and painting their faces over and over again with masks of each other. I watched my feet falter and trip so easily over every uneven impossibility. Sprawled out on the street, bruised and bleeding, I watched faceless and fearful strangers pass by without a glance. Then, without warning, someone stood tall beside me and offered not one, but both hands down… and they slipped into mine with an ease I had never known. Outstretched and with the strength that millions had never dared to use, he lifted me up, above the endless procession of no-ones. I was safe. I was warm. I was healed. In that moment, and every one that has followed since, I knew that I was loved. Sure, the tension can cause every worn string to snap, but new ones just fall into place around them, now perfectly tuned. The entire puzzle can crackle, crumble and come crashing down all around me… but every piece just gets rebuilt, and glued into place forever. Sorrow waves in and tears drown every moment I’ve ever known … but then I just realize I can breathe underwater.


Anonymous said...

Im very happy for you.
and i hope it poves to be
something important to you
im glad someone came to help.

may you enjoy the ups & downs
and thank you for sharing

i feel like a nobody
observing your blog, but i
am learning too
and perhaps ive learned a lesson
about standing up and helping
while all around you the crowds just watch...

Anonymous said...

:) :( :D ;(...

Matrix said...

I realy like this... well written

rivercat said...

You brought tears to my eyes.(joyful)
This is my favorite thing you've written and I love some of your old posts. Youre lucky to have found someone that cares for you .
Im happy that youre happy and that youve found someone to love.
You deserve that and more.
With internet based fondness and affection,


PS,if you dont post this i understand. I am honestly happy for you and i wanted to tell you.
..and I really do think this is a wonderfully written post.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you can breathe underwater. So use these occasions to explore all the mysteries of the deep, the hidden chasms never before seen by human eyes. All the wonders throughout the world are now within your reach.

Welcome back, Heather. I really missed you.

MrUSSinFullEffect said...

lucky you

thequietchair said...

Dear Heather Maria,

To My Lady in the Sky

Forever hidden on a length
of shadow from your book
I stand frozen as moon to sun
unable to approach or leave
for want or desire with misplaced lines
crystallized by base flames
of passions misguided

I shan't ask you look down once more
on this decaying corpse of words
picked carelessly with
crooked hands less than mortal

I send my wretched crow upward
through molten rock
dust wind and sky
with neck bent back broken
giving of life his cry

only in your eyes
did I see the dawn
and in thy face
the brightest
light light
e'er shone

Chelsea said...

hold on tight to that feeling and never let it go.

you deserve it.

we all do.

jon said... better be, cuz you are like never writing or videoblogging anymore.

Anonymous said...

For some reason, I like to read important things slowly and with the ZOOM on almost 200%. The words being larger helps somehow...along with some wine or smoke if available. Im crying a little now because what you have written was so moving.
I think its important to read things as carefully as they were witten. That is important...Thank you for sharing your story.

El Lupino said...

Oye stoner, it's been a while. You free this Sunday? I figure a Skype convo would be better than some random blurtings on your blog.

Chad said...

You have a talent for writing that I wish I had. :/ haha Keep on writing, I like reading it.

Anonymous said...

The Writing: A Masterpiece. I dare anyone try this without sounding artificial.
The Story: How closely this is tied to reality( emotionally) doesn't seem as important as your skill at being genuine. Either way such facility is rare. The symbolism in the narrative is enchanting, from aphotic to glossy-crisp, and finally resolving in an original brilliance of emotional intelligence and understanding.

My Feelings:
Of course, as they say, you don't know me, but I will keep this story with me forever, because I appreciate great works of art.
On a personal level, I will just say that my fear of losing what little I have now and my fear of a life without hope often brings on showers of tears, often just as I'm telling myself to be strong or that things will be ok no matter what happens. I am deeply in love, but I also understand how rediculous that might seem...

if you happen to be a billionaire...