From a 3 year summer of excessive staring and the wonderland of the ex-pat elite... to a 3 month springtime of the straight, successive and solitary. Yes, it’s finally time to claw my way out of the rabbit hole, and leave behind the security blanket that is daddy’s thick wallet and guilty conscious. Unfortunately… I very much enjoyed not having to worry about bills or bank accounts… and am not relishing in my analysis of what I know is about to happen. I’m going to get this done right the first time and throw my entire life into a money funnel. I’m going to find a job I like that can lead to one I would love, and work ridiculous hours just to smile at a piece of paper with a slightly higher number on it every two weeks. I’m going to write my little ass off, and get this novel finished. I’m going to sideline with web content articles, and video editing. I’m going to make youtube videos again, to distract idle hands and thoughts. I’m going to quit drinking again, cook at home and wear out my library card. I’m going to do anything and everything I possibly can, and attack every opportunity with feverish persistence. This is one of those rare moments when I have disallowed myself the option of failing. It’s quite an amazing feeling to have an unwavering purpose, yet amazingly disheartening to know it’s such a shallow one.
Sometimes the right thing and the hardest thing… are the same.
6 comments:
Commendable goals. Here's my two cents.
Lifetime vows, New Year's Resolutions, 12-Step enrollments and this morning's to-do list are much easier to make than to keep.
The right thing to do is almost always the hardest thing to do.
For those of us born with ordinary looks and parents, a good strategy for 'success' is to be really, really, really good at what you do. The secret to being really good at what you do is to love doing it, think about it all the time, and work at it all the time. It's marriage. One must consume and be consumed, commit to a lifetime of love. As a bonus, those who truly love their work will have more joy (not just contentment and happiness, but joy) than those who merely fall into 'success'.
The same beneficent Gods who favor hare and humans with great speed, wealthy parents, perfect beauty and winning lottery numbers often seem to take perverse pleasure in sprinkling curses among the gifts. The tortoise, neither cursed nor blessed, at the end of his toil often finds himself (herself :)) the happier of the two.
I really wish you success. Writing can be difficult sometimes, I know, but it's so wonderfull to be able to create your own worlds.
I'm looking forward to your new videos. It's been a long time.
Please don't push yourself too hard.
Best of luck with this new direction in life. Hope it all works out.
Good advice from Mr. Anonymous
strength of conviction is our gamble in one's self...
many have have drowned in their own convictions...ergo the risk...
The joy is in the leap...
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
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