Inspired by hate, and total misrepresentation by an anonymous someone who obviously knows me in real life... I am here to tell the story of my last relationship. The true story, with names changed to protect the innocent.
I first met Mr. X at a party one summer night a few years ago, outside in a field behind an old school. There was a fire, and bright little blue ecstasy pills were making their way around, as they tended to do a lot those days. I took one, as did my friends, as did Mr. X. We talked, about WAY too much. I knew his secrets, and I knew who he was. I also knew he was in a relationship, and had two kids and a fiancée waiting for him at home... a non-disputed fact which I tried not to judge him for as he worked his ass off and still found time to party with us. We shared a tent a few times, with a few other people, and absolutely nothing sexual of any nature happened between us. I slept next to my sister and rolled my eyes at her choice of men, ranted about the universe because I was high, and slept the entire next day away. He was always gone by the time I woke up, and I only saw him a handful of times, barely gave him a second thought if I'm being honest.
Not long after, I was visited by a man we will call Mr.Ice ... and I fell madly in love. For just over thirty days my world was subject to nothing but the intensity of those moments and of my devotion to make a life with him, by whatever means necessary. I manifested my own twisted desires into actions which at the time, seemed perfectly rational. Duplicitous intentions are always discovered eventually... and so, it was over just as quickly as it started.
I tore myself apart as a person, scrutinizing every manipulative nuance of character, every self-deceptive quality... all the while, proving I learned nothing in the process by quickly dating a local. A simple, steady, trustworthy guy (also conveniently named Mr. Ice) who I didn't feel inferior to. Didn't feel the need to lie to. I was enough for him. We dated for a few months and eventually called it quits. He moved out west.
A few months later at the end of last summer, Mr X appeared around town again, staying nearby. He had just returned from visiting his relatives, and seemed... different. Happier. He came over a few times and smoked some joints, had a beer or two... again, completely platonic and innocent, always with numerous other people around. Then he told me it was over between him and his fiancée, and he had moved out.
I didn't believe him.
It's common practice around these small town parts for couples to break up and get back together numerous times over the course of a week, or a few months. Usually for the summer so they can sleep around and then go back to their distrustful relationship for stability in the winter.
I was not about to invest any time, emotion or energy into someone who wasn't going to stick around, and so I didn't.
We started dating only after he got his own place (in the same building as I was) and truly cut off all romantic ties with his ex,. Around the exact time she also got with someone else.
Mr. X and I dated for almost a year, and then ended our relationship a few weeks ago. A decision I made and he respected. We were fighting way too often, and instead of facing our issues, we tiptoed around them, scared to offend or hurt each other.
I have already heard rumours that he cheated on me while we were together, which I don't believe, and rumours that he is getting back with Mrs. X, which wouldn't surprise me, and ultimately, doesn't concern me. He is a free man, to do what he wants, and who he wants.
So yes, I dated a man who was previously in a serious relationship for a very long time, and who had kids with another woman... but what most fail to notice, is how shitty that relationship was before anyone involved even knew I existed. I believe social law (as well as common sense) protects me from the "homewrecker" argument here.
So, dear hater, regardless of what your petty, judgemental and moronic instincts are telling you I "should" feel, I do not regret dating Mr. X, and never will.
In fact, if you want to persecute me for anything and really strike a nerve, just research and find out more about Mr. Ice (the first). There's enough shame there to bury me if you wanted to.
Good luck.
Heartless bitch,
Heather-Maria
4 comments:
Sounds like it was an adventure while it lasted. Just tell the SOB's to fuck off and move on.
Using bold, underlining and different font sizes really create a nice rhythm to this story.
well now, all that come 'bout from just a blue pill. Guess that ol' Morpheus was dead wrong when he said, “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe"
It sounds to me that Mr X was somewhat "restless" in his relationships and regardless of the timing of you and him, he was destined to wander from his former relationship. He doesn't sound very committal and whether he cheated on you during the year you were together or not, he would have probably done so eventually. As someone before me already said, you have to move on and quit beating yourself up over this. Live and learn.
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