I have quite obviously revealed the existence of this blog to a few too many people, corrupting not only it's innocence but also it's ability to be a sufficiently anonymous outlet to say whatever the fuck I want. Moral censorship is almost inherent once you are aware of certain individuals who may (or may not) be able to read what you are writing.
Sincerity is a dirty bitch to find, and the internet makes it near impossible. As Oscar Wilde says "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."
This used to be my mask. and you, my audience. It has been fading away for a while now, even before the latest blasts.
I write drafts I never post, save word documents of gibberish on my computer in places I'll never look again, and keep most of my words written in memories, or messages to the people I love.
Perhaps for now, I will continue mostly in the shadows.
Time will catch up with me one day and with my inability to ignore the prying eyes glaring through these words.
One day, I'll realize no one cares as much as I think they do.
One day, I'll write about anything and anyone I want.
One day, I'll have nothing to hide from.
5 comments:
Hello Miss. Where do I begin? I don't understand why you have to need a mask when you say the things you do. In some cases, the internet can be a bitch. It can affect job placement in some instances, and in this case it is a very real.... nuisance, at the very worst. But in every other context I can presently think of, it is irrelevant. Who the fuck cares what people think? Your opinions are well thought out, a rare compliment I can give out to very few people on Earth. Quite a few people actually do have these well "derived" opinions, but choose not to say them due to the fear of being judged, criticized, ostracized, ... and of course there is the fear of being offensive. But SERIOUSLY... FUCK THAT! This is who you are and this is what you see. If someone gets that, good for them and perhaps for you. If someone doesn't, they can express why... and if it does make sense to you, hopefully you can evolve your ideas if there is something there. But if the situation is baseless (as it often is).... or to say it more "correctly", if it based on gut.... then again - fuck them. If our bloody inconsistent, contradictory society has an issue, to hell with it. Let it sweep it under the rug like it does so many other things it finds unpleasant.
In conclusion, be proud of who you are... and believe me there is quite a lot. Be proud of what you say and how you think. After all, it did impress a pretty average aspiring physicist from half way around the world some 4 years back. If you don't have people in your "real life" to remind you of the fact that your views, and more importantly... of your desire to express and share them, is a fantastic treasure in itself to behold and an asset to people who can appreciate the idea,.... if you lack these "realies", then I am truly sorry. I'm sure however that you do, and you ought to listen to them; they're quite right. Please be you. Be the person I got to know to some capacity, and live out to the fantastic potential I know you have. You don't have anything to hide from... and never did.
Take care miss.
Sin-surely,
LupineLooPine, aka Jojujarimas, aka LupineL00pine, aka Karan Savio Fernandes (<--How's that for being yourself on the internet? No wolf mask ... this one time ;) )
P.S :Should I apologize that I haven't visited here in ages? I have been quite busy, and in the midst of that one can't keep track of all the things one would like to do.
Loopy Loop! My fruitloop in a world of cheerios. My internet fabricated friend! How do I get in touch with you, not so publicly? Skype still?
Yea.. skype once in a while. Mail id's I use regularly : abgdezetiklmnxoprstupcpo@gmail.com and karanfernandes@hotmail.com .
Sorry I haven't visited here too often. Started checking the blogs after I got my own blogging itch on the 24th. First time I posted poetry I think... hehehe. There's still plenty of mind for me to lose.
Oye miss, write something won't you? ANYTHING! Physics is driving me nuts right now,.. and I know I will be bonkers when I hit the road to try and get into these idiotic institutes to continue the intellectual facade for a few more years till I "earn" my PhD by "working with" some distinguished professor in such and such field (which will require me to kiss ass and do calculation work as opposed to coming up with my own splendid theories :| ). Please, please give me something... I'm done reading with all the stuff I didn't catch up on .. and while writing on my blog over the past few days was a nice creative release at moments like these... I was going overboard by writing too much (translation : I wasted too much time)!
Write woman! Where are the other Love posts? 96 more dammit! Write!!!! WRITE!!!!!!!... ermm,... please?
(takes a printout of some pages of MP's blog, grinds it up into a fine powder, creates a fine line of it on his study table ... snorts the hell out of it, and itches nervously for the next "fix")
te one liners and drama ,slice of life or "my take" posts are great but i miss the short short stories most.(like could it be or circle room etc)
they are my favorite and show most the interesting way you uniquely relate to the language ( apart from the good stories )
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